Shall we dance?

We are wonderfully, gloriously strange beings, constantly going off and doing unpredictable, even unimaginable things. Jazz musicians turn up on time to sessions, rappers talk Brahms, techno-industrial heads have a soft spot for karaoke…

The basic culture dance schools have it that if we know ourselves (as if), know the Other (as if) and plan our interaction accordingly (hmmm), the world will be a whole lot more Funky Chicken than the Robot.

The routine around stereotypical do’s and don’ts is well-meaning even if the dance sequence usually turns out clumsy – a kind of early in the series Strictly, all arms and legs and the judges with their heads in their hands.

Through culture in all its myriad forms, our figured worlds help us manage our lives. Our values drive us. Our beliefs and norms give us a quick script for action. Our biases whittle down information so that we can make some kind of judgment, any kind of judgment without the paralysis of scanning never-ending options.

Yet for the dance of interaction these can be too static and closed to the here and now.

We are in relation to each other. Always. I am in relation to you. Always. You are in relation to me. Always. The space between us is fluid, ever-changing, ever-morphing. I’m adapting, you’re adapting. I’m reacting, you’re reacting. I’m leading and following, you’re leading and following in constant single, double, triple loops of learning and evaluation. Conscious, unconscious, innate, learned.

It’s not just that I am seeing (you); it’s also that I’m seeing a (you) who is in response to me.
Jim Ferrell

You go into Mashed Potato when I expect you to be doing the Disco Finger. I segue into the Disco Finger, congratulating myself on my silky smoothness, and you’re off into Body Rolls. I reckon it’s going to be a Side-Step next but you’re off pogoing. It’s exhausting and confusing and fun and alive. And very cha-cha-cha.

The co-created space between, that shaded spot on the Venn diagram where my and your circles cross over, is more than the sum of us two dancers. This world we play in talks only by extension to our separate figured worlds. To be fully in this relationship, dancing with whatever is in front of us, moment by moment, is mind-achingly, soul-stretchingly hard.

Which is where motivation comes in. In Cultural Intelligence (CQ), this is the Drive quadrant.

CQ Drive is the degree to which we’re open to and interested in learning from different perspectives rather than avoiding them
David Livermore

CQ Drive’s source spring lies in the related areas of curiosity, openness, growth mindset, outward mindset, and more. It’s fuelled by interest, confidence and perseverance, represented in the model by the sub-elements of intrinsic interest, extrinsic interest, and self-efficacy.

This core orientation towards curiosity is the fundamental determinant of success with cultural interaction. All else is application built upon this foundation.

Sure, know yourself, know the other, plan and act accordingly. They all help. And then be prepared to drop those expectations every time you get on the dance floor. Be alive to what’s happening. ‘Cos it don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing….