Once upon a time…

Writing and coaching. Two of my favourite pursuits.

A long conversation with a good friend the other day – appropriately called Jesús for this time of the year – drew out how similar they are.

In both, we find ourselves in lands we have not set foot in before. We explore ideas and differing points of view. It’s a conversation rather than a monologue. One of questions and reflection, twists and surprises. We hear language used in ways unusual to us, see pictures we may not have imagined. Coach and coachee, writer and reader, we lay ourselves bare and invite the world in. It can be a scary place to be.

That’s the thing about books, they let you travel without moving your feet. Jhumpa Lahiri

When done well, we have no idea where we’re going or what the outcome will be. The path is not linear but looping and interrupted, with periods of great action and then also silence. A true journey of discovery. One we emerge from fuller and rounder and deeper.

When done less well, we’re leading people on. Selling ideas and our own views. It’s a set itinerary with only glimpses of the paths we didn’t choose. The language and pictures are formulaic and one-sided. Their lack of variety or originality engage and challenge us less for we don’t perceive shared truth. We don’t perceive our truth.

For then we are in the hands of hucksters and didacts, preachers and advisors. Speakers not listeners.

No need to force yourself to do something the ‘right way’ if it’s not your right way. Your job is to honor your process. Andi Cumbo

Despite conventions, there is no real ending to either. With writing, we wonder if Rick and Ilsa ever met up again, what life Pip and Estella had, who the lost boys grew up to be. A book’s characters and their lives are always broader than they are on the page, just as they stretch far wider than in a coaching session.

Similarly, with coaching the evolution continues as we build further and further on insights and fresh experience. The learning for the coach and the writer is as great – if not greater – as it is for the coachee and the reader.

And as coach and writer we can always be better. There is always self-questioning and doubt. How can I be in better service of the coachee and the reader? Is what I’m doing good enough? Tough questions at any time of the day, let alone 3am.

Yet both can produce glory and life-changing insight, a sharp twist to that self-awareness dial, painful or pleasant. Both… Well, I’m sure we can all think of many more similarities and differences. As writer and coach, one learned insight is to know when to step back out of frame again.

Another conversation with another good friend yesterday led to this Postcard.

Thank you both. May we all be blessed by friends who push us.

Julian

I help people lead their way forward with greater clarity and direction