Do we really need a purpose?

Isn’t that the question? There are so many of us in this space saying everyone should have a #purpose, something bigger than us to guide our way forward. Admirable, I’m sure, but maybe we’re also creating unnecessary pressure on ourselves with all this talk about meaning and direction. Isn’t life difficult enough without having to justify getting out of bed every morning too?

Purpose is a big word. Call it what you will – your element, your raison d’être, your worthy goal, your why – it’s a big ask of someone to have a neat little answer for what we’re here for. Many will not have that front of mind clarity. Maybe some change in their lives has led to a question mark around what they thought was their purpose. Maybe they have achieved what they considered to be their goals and are left wondering, what now? Maybe they’ve never identified what their why was in the first place.

Any of these scenarios can be scary at 3am with the wind howling outside. Are you a lesser person if you don’t have that clarity? Of course not.

Perhaps a healthier way to look at all this is to ask, How can I live well? How can I use my limited time better?

This is the angle Robin Sharma and Mark Manson take. For Sharma, purpose can be too tied up with legacy, which is fundamentally vanity if you break it down. Focus on living well in the here and now. Everything else will take care of itself. Manson argues for us to focus on what we really love doing according to our values and what we consider important. In both cases this is a huge simplification, but in essence they’re arguing not to get too hung up about it all.
Some will need more than this. They may not need a purpose statement as explicit as Simon Sinek’s Why model (“To + action, so that + contribution”), but they will need some kind of guiding vision, a beacon in the distance to aim for. The Australian MBS (Michael Bungay Stanier) advocates determining and then working on worthy goals, goals that are thrilling, daunting, and important. It is in action that our purpose is expressed.

Where does that snapshot of some of the gurus leave us? Let’s go a different way. I’m reading a great book by Rebecca Solnit – A Field Guide to Getting Lost. She shows how getting lost gives us more than new, unexpected experiences. It also forces us to tap into skills and perhaps even latent talents to work our way back. We focus mindfully on our immediate environment, not on some future prospect. Not knowing where we are can be very liberating in that sense. Can we get lost if we don’t have a path in the first place?

But maybe you want more than this. Maybe you do want that path for the way forward. Maybe you are keen to make your mark, to contribute to something in the best way you can. If that’s the case, and you know what it is and how to do it, brilliant. Bring it on.
And if you have this wish, but don’t know specifically what it is or how to implement your vision, then there are people and resources around to help you get there – family, friends, mentors, coaches, books, programs… Reach out and you’ll find your way to this path somehow.

And then again, maybe this isn’t on your radar at all. You’re living in the here and now, just being. Maybe it’s not the time, maybe the need’s not there. And this too is OK. You’re fine as you are.

In any case, all I’d argue for is exploring and clarifying to yourself why you are living as you are. The clarity of self-awareness is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. For if you’re saying to yourself something like “I should have a purpose” or “I have to have a worthy goal”, that voice is coming from others, directly or indirectly. Who are you comparing yourself to? Whose opinion is more important than your own?

Yet if you’re saying to yourself “I must have a way forward”, then that voice and the motivation are yours. This is your heart talking. If this is the case, working on it will give you greater peace of mind if nothing else.

For me, I like to keep it simple. I have a Sinek purpose statement for myself, off which I hang goals à la MBS. Like the gurus above, I do believe that a clear purpose and goals allow me to achieve what fulfils me. But truthfully, I don’t beat myself up over it. If I want to skip Sharma’s recommended five am shower and instead take a day off, I will. Maybe it’s the Caribbean blood in me…It is, after all, my own life.

Be well,

Julian

I help people lead their own way forward